A second career

April 18, 2008

One of the country’s largest corporate houses - with whom I had been associated for a significant part of my career - ran a print ad a while ago. An internship program called the “TATA Second Career” was targeted at experienced women in Pune and Mumbai who had taken a break in their careers for whatever reasons. I missed this ad - yes, at times there are days in between when I don’t even glance at the paper. V who sights opportunities as these to boost my non-existential career persuaded me to apply. I did 3 times with different ids as advised after a lot of follow up with the TSC team - it’d be better not to comment any further on the online registration process. Anyways, they were very helpful over the phone and saw the registration process through.

I got the first screening call last afternoon. For once, I was not asleep, cell phone not in silent mode and neither was I cooking - which I usually do at that hour. With LG asleep, I was browsing the latest issue of Businessworld and was in a frame of mind to take calls. It would have been a total letdown to answer “what are your expectations?” with a apron on and stirring the gravy for dinner. The call was short and went well given the limited interaction I have with humans other than immediate family and grocers.

To be honest, I haven’t thought this through - before applying or even after yesterday’s call. It’s still a long way to go though in a short time - a personal interview if I get through in the first week of May and the start of the program by first week of June. I’ve written before how I may never want to go back to doing what I did. I’m still apprehensive but still there are doubts in my mind if I want to work in IT again unless monetary reasons force me to. I know I want to have a career - a second one - but in what is the question that I’ve been struggling to find an answer for. Once and for all, I want to put those demons to rest by trying this one last time to see if I have it in me to live this mundane IT life. I like what I do currently and love working from home (who doesn’t?) - sending in query letters to editors, submitting pieces, seeing my name in print but let’s be honest - the money is meager and it hasn’t bothered me much but after a year and half of staying out of work it’s started bothering me when I consciously cut down on extra spending on myself not because we can’t afford it but I just don’t feel right - it’s tough to explain. Another area of concern in my current setup is the poor infrastructure and constant interruptions. Once LG starts school that shouldn’t be a problem and I’m hoping it will have a good impact on my productivity too.

To work (from home or outside) or to not work at all was and is a personal decision. Family has been extremely appreciative and supportive of my decision to stay at home. I took that step of staying home initially half-heartedly as I was against the idea of leaving him in a day care center or with a maid at home with grandparents. But now that’s a decision I see myself clinging to. I do enjoy his company, cherish being the first one to see him crawl, walk, talk and love everything he does and have valued this break so much that I can hardly explain. Yet, now as he is growing up there are days when I get bored and feel guilty of being under-utilized that just leads to frustration and a not-so-happy atmosphere at home which is otherwise very chirpy - we are all the time jumping around. It has started taking a toll on my health too of late with the underlying stress leading to a vertigo problem. Transforming to a housewife is easy at times which means you’ll find me with a duster cleaning shelves and mopping like a control freak. While I worked, we were used to not having a well-kept house and this doesn’t have to change, V says. Cleaned house, neat clothes to wear and good food to eat are the only essentials until LG grows up. Having a sparkling house that could go on the cover of a glossy Interior decoration magazine is not the aim, he says. Sensing my restlessness, my parents and V have been constantly encouraging me to be gainfully occupied that would if nothing else boost my morale. I don’t know how many of you would agree but staying at home with babies with little interaction with the outside world is like a slow poison - it kills your confidence slowly but surely. I knew that all along but felt it yesterday as I fumbled to get coherent sentences out.

This may or may not be the beginning of a second career. For now, if at all clicks through, I see it as a trial period to see if I can cope with leaving LG behind for 3 or 4 hours and come to terms with the work-life (im)balance. At the end of it, at least one thing will be clear - IT or no IT so long V is employed And with that a choice will be made and all the whining about not working will be put to rest forever.

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Comments

6 Responses to “A second career”

sangeetha on April 18th, 2008 12:10 pm

Hi Lakshmi,

I read your blog often. I have always liked your frank opinions on various issues. Like you I also have taken a break from my IT career for 2 years and have struggled to get back into workforce. I have started working now. I fully agree with you that the break from work acts as a slow poison. I could not think that I ever could write/design code again. but you know what the fingers had their own memory. on the first day of rejoining the work again I was automatically typing away doing all the correct things. I wish you best of luck.
please do share the outcome of your new venture.

Regards,
Sangeetha
lakshminl on April 18th, 2008 3:32 pm

Thank you for the encouraging words, Sangeetha. Whatever the outcome, it will be an experience and the satisfaction of having tried this time
rajagopal sukumar on April 19th, 2008 5:12 am

Nice post Lakshmi. Didn’t realize your moved your blog. All the best with your second career.
Motherhood and work ethics : Reflections — Lakshmi Nagarajan’s weblog [India, Pune, Trading, Stay at home mom, Bangalore, Writing, Freelancing, REC, NIT] on April 30th, 2008 9:47 am

[…] This is when the whole part-time saga started. I have some of my friends who have kept the 4 hours a day thing going for many years now. This sounds good to me. For one these women are not ambitious and aren’t too concerned about what kind of work they do, who they report to (many times people you trained eventually become your managers) or how much they earn. So why do it you might ask? In their own words, it gives them a 4-hour break from the insanity of it all - husband, baby, housekeeping —you know what I mean and a window to just be themselves and socialize with the people they’ve hung out and take the mind away from mundane tasks into something stimulating. These women work by the clock as they usually have to return home on time to receive their kids from play school or daycare. Which in turn means they are highly productive at work - no meaningless chit chat around the cooler and are extremely committed. The sad part is not many organizations are willing to try this option though they harp incessantly about the damn work-life balance, which is why they lose out on some good talent to motherhood and then go hunting for them through initiatives such as Tata Second Career. […]
Motherhood and work ethics : Reflections — Lakshmi Nagarajan’s weblog [India, Pune, Trading, Stay at home mom, Bangalore, Writing, Freelancing, REC, NIT] on April 30th, 2008 9:47 am

[…] This is when the whole part-time saga started. I have some of my friends who have kept the 4 hours a day thing going for many years now. This sounds good to me. For one these women are not ambitious and aren’t too concerned about what kind of work they do, who they report to (many times people you trained eventually become your managers) or how much they earn. So why do it you might ask? In their own words, it gives them a 4-hour break from the insanity of it all - husband, baby, housekeeping —you know what I mean and a window to just be themselves and socialize with the people they’ve hung out and take the mind away from mundane tasks into something stimulating. These women work by the clock as they usually have to return home on time to receive their kids from play school or daycare. Which in turn means they are highly productive at work - no meaningless chit chat around the cooler and are extremely committed. The sad part is not many organizations are willing to try this option though they harp incessantly about the damn work-life balance, which is why they lose out on some good talent to motherhood and then go hunting for them through initiatives such as Tata Second Career. […]
Deepa Joshi on December 4th, 2008 5:38 am

My God Lakshmi, I just stumbled upon ur site yest and have been reading the articles non-stop:-) And this article “A second career”- I just felt you entered my head and wrote what I am constantly going through!! My son is 8 and goes to full time school…I have an MS in EE and moved back from the US in 2002…Tried getting my foot back into the IT industry after 3 yrs break..But I realised I was not enjoying them at all…So I quit again..Now I run an antique store which started off as a full fledged store and now has been reduced to a hobby cos of overheads and the economy!! So I am back to ‘desperately wanting to utilize my brain power’ a few hours everyday and not finding the right job, bad health due to stress (Read symptoms similar to Vertigo)…Sorry for rambling but it was just uncanny some of the things u said….
Anyways all in all sailing in the same boat…