At 7 months, LG is a crawling machine


Not much has changed, except that he has grown bigger, stronger and old enough to slap us. I had no clue that you get so much strength on a formula-baby cereal diet, that I’m seriously contemplating giving up my three time meals to switch over to Nestum/NAN.

Lil General got a new buddy - Snoopy - a white Fisher Price dog. I wish Snoopy was a real dog. Poor thing, he gets kicked and beaten everyday by LG and still keeps making bow-bow sounds.

Vivek and I have become the full-time clowns for LG making bow-bow and quack-quack sounds as he giggles and drools.

The biggest milestone of all - crawling, happened this month.

He continues to fall off the bed for fun only that I catch him on my lap now. Sometimes he thinks he can fly and reach for the objects he eyes like TV from the bed.

You know what, I get this feeling he doesn’t like our laptop much for we spend way too much time on it. One day, Vivek was composing a mail and he got this eerie feeling to see the words disappear slowly from the screen, only to realise the ghost was right there at home hitting on the Del key. Don’t be too surprised if this is the last post you see on LG for I’m not sure if the laptop will be hale and healthy by next month.

He is a crawling machine now, wants to climb on top of 2 pillows in the middle of the night.

Battles are fought everyday between V and LG. It is LG who usually wins.. V has to be happy with some war wounds on almost every part of his body right from the nose to arms. LG’s secret weapons are his teeth.

Talking about teeth, after the first bottom pearls of white, it is now the turn of the top 4 incisors.

LG also got a pram this month and he isn’t too happy going for his evening rides on it. Mom’s shoulders are comfy, its just that mom thinks he is heavy for her to carry him all the time.

We have a home-grown Tansen who is content listening to Mozart every morning in a thinker-pose - with the fingers on his chin.

LG says —

Diapers - oh I HATE them. So what if momma wears it..I know how to turn away from her and furtively remove the straps and then smile sheepishly.

I smile more at strangers than at mom.

I love getting up at 4:30 a.m. everyday, playing for a while and then going back to sleep, only after ensuring my parents have lost their sleep and are wide awake.

And I give that dirty look when mom gets funny trying to read me Cinderella / Goldilocks fairy tales.

My favorite afty activity is to put my fingers inside mom’s nostrils while she is asleep. How much fun can that be?

Eating on the edge

It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon, an unusual one as it was not raining at even half past noon. The rain gods do not spare Pune on weekends confining families to stay indoors and get bored of seeing each other’s face or the stupid reality shows on Television with the exception of a Formula 1 race weekend. So yesterday with the overcast still in sight threatening to pour anytime, we bravely made plans to lunch at the new restaurant, Gayatree, that opened up in the neighborhood just three days back.

This was a big event in itself, for this was the first time The Seniol and I were going to dine outside with LG. And I guess we would have to be one of those odd couples/parents who have not gone out for a goddamn 7 months after the baby was born. I would like to think that I’m either a very good cook that we don’t feel the need to eat out or that LG keeps us entertained at home that we don’t feel like budging out. How I wish the former was true to bloat my ego, but the reality is it is the second one and that both of us are too lazy to chalk out plans.

Don’t get me wrong, we have been out with LG before to friendly places such as a relative’s place, traveled all the way from Trichy to Chennai, visits to a friend’s place etc but never to a location that is totally strange to him in its setting and which is not home-like except the hospital. So I know what to pack in his bag and what to carry and what not to. But the trip yesterday was a total disaster.

The first mistake, we dressed him up after he had his lunch to his heart’s content (who feels like going out after a heavy lunch) when it was his nap time..his eyes were drooping.It was already late and I had two choices - to put him to sleep and fix a quick lunch for us or take him along and put him to sleep on the way / get a takeaway. I chose the latter. In the frenzy of getting ready (I usually look clumsy these days like a mommy with stains and leftovers of LG’s food on my dress) and making a mental note that I ought take his water bottle, I rushed down to the car with his pram and other essentials. Since the place was just around the corner I decided against taking his bag. Turned out later nothing is just around the corner with a baby. An outing is an outing and his baggage goes with it.

We reach the place all confident and put him on the pram and take him in, excitement and apprehension clearly written all over our faces when the first oon oon and the uncomfy look on LG’s face. “He is not happy.”, says Vivek.

The crying started even before we took our seats. Positioning the fan towards him by climbing on the table and then on the chair to get the angle of the rotating fan just about right, making stupid quack quack and bow-bow sounds letting the other people there assume we were clowns and letting all the cutlery available on the table rub against each other to produce all sorts of sounds possible saw LG quiet for a while. When we ran out of ideas, Vivek suggested he might be hungry and that I should give him water. It didn’t take long to realize the mental note had remained a mental note. So he drove back home and returned with the bottle. See, going to a place round the corner is never a good idea for you are careless and the husband has to do the running around for the wife’s absentmindedness.

I finished my French Onion soup sitting on the edge with spoon in one hand and the other rocking his pram. The 75 ml of water was over before our main course came in.
We stayed for 45 mins - the quickest lunch that took about 15 seconds to order and 10 mins to gobble down the food sitting on the edge of our seats. The rest was spent entertaining LG and Vivek dashing to and fro the house. Oh!we did take a minute to analyse the food as well. The Amritsari Chole could have well been renamed Bengaluru Chole for I don’t know if anyone in Amritsar makes chole purely with coconut. We hope to do better next time :)

At 6 months, LG becomes the friendly neighbourhood spiderman

I am back with another edition of Lil General’s chronicle - this time it is the half yearly special.

He has earned the nickname “Gadhdhari bheem” from his dad, The Seniol.

Just 2 days before he could officially complete 6 months, happened “The Great fall” or call it “The Giant leap” off the bed to become the friendly neighbourhood spider man. Will someone please teach my son that one has to start crawling, then walking before flying? And that rolling over and over is good but not on the bed.

This was also a month of concerts - the sweet sounds that rhymed with those of Koel, the bird that stays in the next door tree and wakes us up at 6:53 a.m. sharp every morning with her “coo,coo”. Matching her songs are those of LG’s at 7:00 a.m., 1:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. - the tickets were sold out for a good week.

LG in the meantime got introduced to his another set of grandparents.

The family also witnessed a series of poop episodes …it came in all colors, sizes and shapes - green,watery being the famous one that took to us every Paediatrician in town until one sane one said, “Relax baby. 50 or 100 times is also fine and I do not promised any miracle.” But he did perform a miracle and it stopped.

There was an addition to the family - Buci, the white teddy bear from South Africa.

The boy enjoys music and is selective about it too. The flavor changes week after week. It was the blues first with BB King. Now he goes bonkers listening to Jimi Hendrix and gets mad every time someone turns off the music.

He is more interested in the food I eat and the tea I drink than his apple, carrots and Nestum.

The past two months he has probably had more medicines than food. That kinda explains why the first spoon is always a struggle.

His love for the fan above is quite high.

Two pearls of white - lower teeth made their appearance. On their way out, they caused a lot of trouble and I suspect the upper 4 are on their way too.

Why can’t I be a mom and not work ?

I’m a self proclaimed recluse now - incommunicado with most of my friends, former acquaintances. I am just tired of answering the question, “Where do you work?” which is immediately followed by “Why am I not working?” The already small social circle is diminishing at an alarming rate now.

Just so we can set the record straight I’m very much employable and in the job market, much more than most of you who have posed this question to me. I am not trying to be rude here while stating this but just getting the facts right.

So, why does this kind of conversation get on my nerves? Times have changed and I’d rather not compare our parent’s generations with that of ours. On the lighter side, being an Aquarean means there is some part of insanity built in. On a serious note, it takes me down the depression trajectory. I’m not looking for sympathy because there is no sacrifice being done here, so please don’t make me a martyr. I did not trade my career for Lil General.

If people cannot come to terms with the fact even after 9 months that I am a mom and will be home (or as the fancy jargon goes for people like me stay-at-home moms) taking care of Lil General and feel bad for my situation every time I talk to them, then I’d rather keep away from such company.

For us there was never a if-else-if or choices in raising Lil General. After I conceived, we never discussed as to which parent would come over or if we would hire a full time nanny to take care of the kid. This debate never happened - amongst us or with rest of the family. It was a given that I would quit and stay home - not a forced one but something that I was more than willing to. Find some sanity for a while away from the rat race.

I have never experienced this before so I am not going to make it sound like this is all hunky-dory. Life has changed dramatically, more than anyone can take. Its a huge change from being busy for 7 years to staying home for starters. And to add to it, doing household chores from the crack of dawn until the half the world goes to sleep. Midnight feeds and changing diapers feels good initially but MONOTONY creeps in sooner than later. There are days that don’t begin because the previous one never ended. And ones that never end. There are phone calls I miss, birthdays I forget, days when I don’t look in the mirror and some that goes by without talking to anyone apart from V. And afternoons when I feel like resting my bones, LG is hyperactive playing merry go round around the bed that I can’t catch a wink. And the BIG FAT pay package gone. Who said it was an easy ride? It would be inhuman if I just switched roles from a career woman to one like an experienced nanny overnight. Once a decision taken, I’d rather not weigh in my options in every conversation. But whats important is that I’m ok with all of this. This hard work doesn’t earn me a penny but it gives me that million-dollar smile.

Call me foolish, call me outdated, call me whatever you would like but spare me the routine of asking that same damn question over and over again as to why I am at home taking care of Lil General. Parenting does not seem like a lucrative career option. And lets not forget the social standing among the corporate friends where you are judged by the double income.

Why am I doing this?

  1. Family matters. Period. A great deal of time and energy is lost when both couples work. “Send your child to the best day care and he will send you to the best old age home in town”, i read somewhere. I am not looking for LG to take care of us in our old age - this is not a deal.
  2. I’m too possessive and protective to let him grow at the hands of anyone else for now.

Maybe I will go back to work when I feel he has grown enough and I feel comfortable. Maybe not. until then please don’t make it sound like parenting was too lowly a job to have traded my career for.

How life has changed ..all in a day’s work

Life has changed so much in the past 5 months that it is hard to believe that I am the same person. This list is just to show the Lil General how he always kept me on the move.

Lil General is all of 70 cms but he keeps me on my toes all day. 2 grown-ups are not enough to handle this 5 month old kid.

“Let’s eat out” has given way to “What’s for dinner?” at home.

Then, I used to look at the cellphone every morning to see what time it is. If it was 7:00 a.m., it always meant I could be a slacker and tug in for another 10 more minutes. Now I rush to the bathroom at 6:15 a.m. and get stuff ready for him before he wakes up.

Then, I used to be an obsessive sleeper - going to bed by 10:00 p.m. come what may and turning the world upside down and letting everyone know if I didn’t sleep well one night. Now, I can hardly remember the last time I slept uninterrupted for over 3 hours. Midnight feeds , diaper changing at 3:00 a.m. is part of the deal.

Talking about having your own space, I see he has taken half of my closet space and I would be lucky if I get about a feet in width on the bed to sleep through the night.

Then, mornings would start until I had a hot cup of tea with the newspaper in my hand. Now mornings end with a hot cup of tea. And some lucky days end with catching up the news.

On the brighter side, we would get tired of watching the idiot box on weekends and work nights. Now I can’t remember the last time I switched on the TV. There is a 24*7 live entertainment channel at home, courtesy LG.

We indulged in retail therapy then and do so now. What has changed is for whom we buy. We go out to get something for us and end up buying stuff for him.

If there’s one thing that has changed immensely, then it is my patience levels. Believe me, if nothing else, motherhood teaches you patience. Potty on one side, doorbell ringing, husband on a call, telephone ringing, mom on chat, vegetable burning on the stove and much more..I have learnt to handle all of this simultaneously without losing my cool. Of course, there are days when I get mad at everyone but everyone is entitled to a bad day, aren’t they?

We don’t eat when we are hungry. We eat when he is asleep or at least I do so.

Then, laundry could wait if we didn’t feel up to it. Now, laundry can’t wait and has to be done 2 times a day.

There is no room for laziness. His hunger can’t wait. There are no Sundays and holidays. Every day is a Monday for me. No room for blues.

Then, our parents wouldn’t call everyday. Now, they want to view their grandson on webcam everyday.

Then, we wouldn’t know who our neighbours were. Now, boundaries diminish and neighbours come calling at all odd times to see the little one.

Then, domestic help took advantage because it was just us. Now, they are all the more sincere towards their work.

Then, I hardly had any woman friends. And I was pathetic at making small talk. Not that it has improved drastically but I’m doing a better job now in conversing with other women.

Bathing the baby, laundry, preparing his formula umpteen times, cooking for the family, comforting the baby to sleep, eating, entertaining guests, shopping, blogging , answering calls and more laundry..its all in a day’s work now. Life can’t get busier than this. Who said Parenting was easy? I wonder how working moms manage the show.

Finally, on a totally unrelated note : I loved this sentence I read on some one’s blog …We are committed to this roller coaster ride that is marriage. I just really prefer the peaks to the valleys.

Back in action : 4 months and living life king size

If you’ve missed me and my stories on this space, then good. I’m back with more fun stories of how I’ve been entertaining the world and keeping everyone on my toes.

I’m a lot smarter now than when I was just 2 months old. Mommy cannot expect me to finish my bottle in 5 mins and carry on with her work. I know how to hold the bottle with my hands now when I want milk. I also know how to kick the bottle with my legs whenever she feeds carrot juice instead of milk. No tricks!

I had a lot of baby’s day out days the past 2 months. And let’s not get started on the pilgrimage. Granny and mom were all too eager to take me to one temple in every town.

I was happy to see the oldies in the family - great grannies and great grandpa. They seem healthier than my mom.

2 road trips, 1 train journey and 1 flight journey in a month is too much for this Lil General. I enjoyed the road trip of all - gazing at the car and outside. I hated the train journey and so did mom. Used to sleeping on a king size bed, the second a/c berth was too compact to hold me and mom. So I pushed her down…poor mom cuddled in one corner all through the night. Flight was fine. I don’t get what the fuss was all about …oh yea I was scared to death for a sec during that rough landing at Pune..

The heat is killing me. I would trade in anything in this world to see the fan running all day. My hairs stand up anytime I see someone approaching the switchboard. Stay away from it folks. The torture of the Electricity board guys is enough.

I can turn back and forth within seconds, sleep on my tummy for hours on stretch, sometimes through the night.

Mommy decided to put me on formula because I didn’t behave myself - so I’m a Nan baby now. She is making me diet conscious by feeding me carrot juice. Let me grow and I will put her on Atkins’ diet.

I enjoy the daily oil massage momma gives followed by the hot water bath.

I don’t need no milk and no juice. I can grow big by sucking on my thumb all day. If my thumbs are not enough I borrow mommy’s too. Sometimes when mom feeds the bottle I fool her by not sucking the bottle, instead by slipping my thumbs.

I’m home at Pune with The Seniol (my dad). The place is so different than what I’ve seen in my life. I miss my granny and Yuko - my dear friend. However, I’ve got new friends here - polu, buco kidoo, pilu, stualt’s mom and buci.

The smile comes in all sizes and shapes - a special one for every person and every occasion. I love my voice and my screaming is enough to keep neighbors at bay.

I’m 2 months old, says Lil General

Pranav. 60 Days old. 5.1 Kgs. 57 Cms. Wheatish Brown. Brown Eyes. 12 hours of sleep. On Diet. Clean habits : Wet my bed only 10 times a day. Single and ready to make friends.

Alrighty folks, if you liked my first edition, I’m here with how my second month passed by.

Its official. My name is Pranav. So, please stop calling me by weird sounding names - Kunju (mom), Juniol(pa), Thambudu(grandma), munnu(grandpa), ulli (grandpa)….

I’ve lost all the excess hair on my arms from birth and don’t like Brother Bear anymore.

I’ve made 3 new friends - Mbiki, the bear, Bunny Rabbit and Winnie. Yuko, my dear friend still hangs out with me on late Friday night parties.

Continue reading …

Pa was here for my second month birthday and it was fun playing Undertaker with him.

Stopped painting my mommmy’s dresses yellow, still wet the bed though. Who said wetting is not gentlemanly?

I’ve acquired a good sense of fashion and this month was good for my wardrobe. One new dress everyday makes me a happy kid. I’ve styled my hair like a porcupine.

My fuzzy vision is gone. I can see beyond 12 inches and flash that 1000 Watt smile every time I see mommy and the orange curtain.

People said I’m too fast when I turned on my tummy on 22nd Dec - when I was just a month and 4 days old. I say I’m just too bored of lying around.

Spend more than 20 seconds with my mom and she will treat you to a lengthy discourse on how many hours I slept, how many she slept. She maintains a log to the minute of my sleep, counts my susoos, analyses the color of my poop and the number of times I fart. I’m telling ya she has gone nuts. She better get back to work soon.

Oh! I forgot to tell you about my favorite friend - Doc uncle. I visit him once every 3 days for indigestion, cold ,cough. Its been rough and the vaccine pained like hell. but Doc is very nice to me. I have all the syrups from the local pharmacy in my room now. Some syrups taste sweet, some bitter, some hot…but all much better than mommy’s milk.

I sleep best on my pa’s shoulders. I give a tough time to mummy and keep her guessing why I’m crying. Now I cry differently for my different needs..

  1. I’m hungry. I need to be fed.
  2. Putting me down after every feed irritates me. Regurgitating after the feed makes me comfortable.
  3. I’ve done it. I’m lying in a wet bed. Change my nappy. Make it quick.
  4. Dodos..I need some air. I’m either too warm or too cold. Touch my neck or tummy and decide which one it is.
  5. I can’t sleep by myself. Hold me and sing me lullabies.
  6. Stomach ache. Mommy ..what did you eat. My tummy is aching.
  7. Hiccup is bothering me. Will you do something about it?
  8. I need to urinate but its paining. I’m straining…
  9. I’m sick..running nose, fever and an irritating throat etc..
  10. I’m colic.
  11. No good reason. I’m bored and need some entertainment.

A Labor Story : Concluding part

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 5:30 p.m. - Intestines popping out

With the tablet not giving the desired outcome, I was induced drips and within minutes a throbbing pain developed that just increased in intensity. It would be there for 5 minutes and then go away.

Just when the Doc was about to leave the room, there was a huge commotion and suddenly I see the doors opening and a few men coming up the stairs carrying a huge person in a stretcher. The person on the stretcher, a lady in her mid 50s, was transferred to a operating table, helped out of her dress into the dressing gown (all this happening in front of our eyes). Just then I caught the mess she had become .. something near her stomach was popping out….you wouldn’t want a description of that. I learnt later she was operated 15 days back and her uterus removed. She had apparently not adhered to the Doc’s safety measures due to which the stitches had given away and she brought in. Another surgeon from across town was summoned.

With all the resources now attending to this emergency, I was left alone and at times the janitor was asked to sit by my side who would shout all the time. I retrospect, this is the only regret I have in this whole labor process. I wish nurses in hospitals spoke nicely to patients. When you are in so much pain, the least you can expect is some comforting words. Hospitals are so commercialised now that no one cares about service or whether you are alive/dead..its money all the way. In a country like India with a population of 1 billion plus, life of cattle is more dear than human life.

Continue reading A Labor Story


Monday, 18th Dec 2006 5:45 p.m. - I’m hungry, thirsty
I think I’m going to pass out in the pain. I cannot compare the pain to anything else because I have never experienced something of that intensity before.

I’m hungry.

I’m thirsty.

I feel like urinating.

I feel like pooping.

I can feel the contractions.

I feel like dying……..

I am scared.

I am screaming in pain now.

I feel like seeing mom.

CNG : “Would you like orange juice?”

Myself: “Hell, yes.”

She is called into the operating room for that intestine lady. And my juice is forgotten. There is no one attending to me. I can hardly speak. I muster some energy and motion my hand towards a passing human being and request for some water. Water comes a good 10 mins late. I also request to send mom in. The request is denied flatly.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 6:00 p.m. - I become an exhibit now. That damn word “strain”.
Thank god, someone thought this screaming girl needs some help. The Cynical Nurse who is an administrator in the hospital and has no clues about giving birth to babies comes in and sits on my bed. She is accompanied by the janitor and an anonymous nurse. All of them yell at me to get froggy and not “waste the pain”.

“Strain, strain”, they scream.

Assuming they meant push, I lift my legs, hold it tight with my hands and push hard. They are disappointed.

“You are not trying hard. All that’s coming out is only blood.”

I’m lying in a pool of blood.

Taking deep breaths, in my next contraction, I push hard. They are excited now. One anonymous nurse says, “See there is the head now”. She places the doppler and says the baby’s head is fixed and I got to try real hard now.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 6:30 p.m. - Listen to my advice : Respect your mother and Don’t make a baby

The interval between contractions had decreased. The pain down there was like this huge thing trying to gush out through a opening with the same rhythm as ocean waves would lash the shore and recede. Now imagine this happening every 5 minutes.

Two thoughts occurred to me that minute. The respect for my mother grew a zillion times for living through so much pain. I regretted for giving so much grief for mom. Don’t ever hurt your moms, give them all the happiness you can. The pain they went through to give birth to you is something that words can never do justice.

The second thought was people who say my bundle of joy has arrived are either lying or they would have had a C-Section. It is simply not possible to live through so much pain and love that little one. Its just a bundle. And I was crazy enough to make a baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:00 p.m. I’m taken in
The Doc is out after operating on the intestine lady. I’m walked into the operating room. Half my body is on a chair. Legs are propped up on two stands. Once in this position, the entire arrangement is elevated. I’m back to the permanent frog position. I can see myself in the overhead mirror.

Contraction sets in and I’m pushing hard. Doc says “I’m not close enough to get the baby out”. Cynical Nurse suggests that they go downstairs and finish the consultations and then be back. Damn Cynical Nurse.

I plead with the Doc not to leave me and go.

I cry, “I can’t bear the pain anymore.”

“Please do a C-Section. I want to die. I can’t take this anymore.”, I plead with her.

She casts a disgusted look and leaves.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:15 p.m. A new nurse
The Fat Mean Nurse Anu arrives and CNG hands over her shift to her with a quick rundown of the cases. Anu is initially patient encouraging looking attentively at me down there. Consciously avoiding the overhead mirror, I accidentally look at it between contractions while turning my head from one side to the other. Gynaec’s job is not a pretty one to look at multiple v* through their careers patiently waiting for the head to come.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:30 p.m. Quick Contractions
Quick contractions now. Contractions that were minutes part are now seconds apart. Anu is joined by 2 more nurses and they are all encouraging me to “strain”.

“Push”. “Push”. “come on strain a little more. you are doing good.”

The pain is gone.

At last, I’ve learnt what it meas to “strain” else I was going to ask for a Dictionary so that there is no communication gap :) I take a deep breath ad keep pushing hard. But it is not hard enough for the big head to come out. They can see the hair of the baby now.

In retrospect, I feel I could have done better if I had more emotional support if they had allowed mom to come in or if they allow husbands. I think hospitals in smaller towns in India should allow husbands to stay by the side of their wives during labor.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:45 p.m. When will this stop?
I swear to kill anyone who talks about having a second baby. It can’t get any worse than this. I have no energy to scream. Some wise person had once said, “Conserve your energy. Don’t scream. Instead push.” I did just that. Convinced this is as far as it could get, Anu ran downstairs to get the Doc.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 7:55 p.m. A moment of relief
Doc comes in. By then I had taken a break and got my legs down. The nurses were wild that I was not in position. Legs and thighs were paining badly because of being in the frog position this long.

I feel my body is going to come apart and the baby is just going to cut through the muscles and fall out. So bad is the pain. Seeing the Doc, I was relieved but concerned too that she too might just ask me to keep pushing and I wondered for how long this see-sawing would go on.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 8:10 p.m. A prick
The equipment is all ready. Doc puts on the gloves. Has everything ready. I’m avoiding looking at the overhead mirror. I feel a quick prick down there. And then a scissor/knife like thing that runs down the skin to make a opening big enough for the baby to come out. The injection might have been a local anaesthesia. I didn’t feel the pain while she cut through.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 8:13 p.m. Lil General arrives
There is a pump like thing next to me. She picks it and pumps in through my opening. I can feel the baby coming out. The head and then it gets worse for a few seconds as the body slithers out. Lil General is born. I’m surprised this part was so quick and easy. I see the Doc lifting the baby by its head in a forecep like thing and handing it over to the nurse. They timed his birth at 8:13 p.m.

I don’t feel the umbilical cord being cut. The first thing I notice in the baby as he is being handed over is his ASSET dangling.

Delivered through vacuum, Lil General was a boy. A healthy 3.2 Kg baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:00 p.m. Post delivery pain is worse than contraction
From 8:15 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. I was being stitched. The Doc said later she was worried about my excessive bleeding. I cried and cried in pain through the stitching process. This pain was worse than the labor pain. Every inch of my body ached. To flush out the residual blood in the body, the Doc would insert something called a “kidney pack” which was like a hard pouch through a hole of probably 1 inch width down there and get it out forcibly…it would push all the blood out. She did this about 5 times. I glanced at the overhead mirror and all I saw was blood, blood and blood..all over. Like a scene out of some exorcist movie…

I’m given drips to control the bleeding. The Doc leaves. I’m alone.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:15 p.m. I want to see Mom
I tell Anu I want to see Mom. My request is denied.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 9:30 p.m. I want to see Mom
I plead with Anu to see Mom. I cry on seeing Mom. After a few minutes I ask Mom what baby it was. Anu was shocked. She said I’m probably the first patient in her career who has asked an hour after the baby’s birth about the baby.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 10:15 p.m. I’m in pain.

“Please give me some painkiller.”, I plead with Anu.

“This is no pain. you got to bear it.”, says Anu.

“How many kids do you have?” I ask casually.

None came the reply.

“No kids, no opinion.” I retorted, feeling sorry about having said that later.

Monday, 18th Dec 2006 11:30 p.m. I go to the room. End of a long day.
After washing me up ad inducing drips again, I’m walked to the room. After 5 steps I can see the path ahead diminishing anf my head spinning. Suddenly it is all dark and I pass out on the way. I’m helped onto my feet again and make it thr a few feet to the room and crash on the bed. The night is a blur. I wake up every hour to see the time and calculate how long it would be before Vivek gets there. It was the end of a long day.

Lil General, welcome to the family. You are a bundle of joy.

A Labor Story contd… - Part 2

The content for this post has been swimming in my head for weeks now. Reminiscing those hours leading to the birth of the Lil General here in full detail will make for a grouse reading, so be forewarned and use your discretion.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 12:30 p.m.
I have been pacing up and down the room while the rest of the family is reading my face, talking to hospital staff, taking phone calls and settling down.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 1:00 p.m. Pain Intensifies
Composed Nurse Geetha (Lets calls her CNG) comes in with the doppler. Checks BP and the baby’s heartbeat.
She asks, “How far apart are the pains?” I’ve no idea. She promises to be back by 1:30 p.m. I keep pacing the floor. God, I think whose idea was it to make a baby.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 1:30 p.m. Enema time - the best way to clear your tummy
Am so relieved to see CNG. Everyone is asked to step out of the room while she asks me to lie down and pumps something like soap water inside me. Minutes later I rush to the toilet and can feel my system clearing out. My my…there was so much inside. Having lunch was such a waste of time.

CNG promises to be back by 2:00 p.m.

Continue reading A Labor Story


Monday, 18th December 2006, 2:00 p.m. Clock is ticking
No sign of CNG yet. Mom is wondering when they are going to take me inside as I’m in pain. I’m not talking..only the decibel level of my moaning has been on the rise.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 2:30 p.m. Yo..CNG is here.
CNG asks me how I’m feeling. I wasn’t sure what to answer that would make her take me into the operating room. So I stay quiet and let my face and sounds do the talking.

She times the gap between the pains. I tell her it has been paining once every 5 mins. Not convinced, she decides it is actually 10 mins apart.

Leaves. Promises to be back at 3:00 p.m.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:00 p.m.
No one yet. Anonymous nurse peeks in and leaves. I am wailing in pain. Mom is sitting by my side helpless.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:30 p.m. Time to go in
CNG times the pains. It is 5 mins apart. Time to go in. I cast a ‘bye’ look at mom and go in, with no idea of what to expect. Mom walks me until the operating area which is about 20 feet away from our room.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 3:35 p.m. Not the real operating room. More waiting in order.
It is a huge room with many cots. The decor is not pleasing. Dull white walls. There is a big white board that has the names of the patients to be operated that evening.

All the beds are empty. There are a few operating rooms at one end of the room. At the far end is a stack of medicines and probably a toilet.

I’m helped out of my dress into the hospital gown - a dull grey one - the kind you see in TV. One anonymous nurse plaits my hair and ties it up with a white thread - good fashion sense :). They clean me up. While one nurse is doing that, the other is looking and a third is chatting. I expect the action to start soon, but nothing happens.

The anonymous nurses are now joined by some janitors and they all gossip about the Doc, how busy the hospital is today - the no. of out patients attended to by Doc already up at 54. That there is a steady flow of people down at the lounge and people are getting impatient/wild..some having come at 11:00 a.m. haven’t yet met the Doc.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:00 p.m. - Pain subsides
Pain has subsided over the past 10 mins and I momentarily slip into dreamland. This sinful act is caught my CNG.

CNG shakes me, “What happened to your pains?”

I reply, “Oh, its there.” I’m worried they might not get the baby out and fake the pain. But you know what, you can’t fake real labor pain. Doppler and BP checks happen every 30 mins.

The anonymous nurses are still gossipping.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:10 p.m. - Pain intensifies. Position taught. That magical word “Strain”.
Pain is back and so is my moaning.

CNG teaches me to “strain” during pain by getting my legs up like a frog and “strain” myself as if I’m constipated. She asks me to keep trying when there is pain.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:15 p.m. - I have company
Pain hasn’t subsided. A lady is admitted next to me. Her caesarean is scheduled for 4:50 p.m. that evening. She is cleaned. She is not in pain and is sleeping peacefully. How lucky I think to myself.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 4:45 p.m. - Imperfect timing. I am reprimanded
The anaesthetist is here for the Caesarean lady (Sudha, I got to know her later). Action begins in the room. Sudha is taken in for the operation - turns out she wanted her baby out before 5:30 p.m. - some auspicious timing funda.

CNG - the experienced nurses of all, goes for the operation. I’m left under the supervision of the anonymous ones. A few minutes later the janitor takes over. I know I know …She reprimands me for not “straining” and getting my legs up only after the pain has subsided. Poor timing …I need to give birth to many babies to perfect this timing.

The mean janitor says, “At this rate you will only deliver by midnight. Do you want us to go home or not?”

I think, “Thank you for being so nice.”

I’m alone again. In pain. I tell the anonymous nurse that I want to go to the bathroom. She helps me get up and walks me there but doesn’t leave me. There is no privacy when you are in labor.

Monday, 18th December 2006, 5:15 p.m. - Yo! The Doc is here. Water breaks.
The Doc is out of the operating room after the Caesarean is done. That was fast I think. Meanwhile, the gossip has been on about the commotion in the lounge downstairs and the incessant wait. The joke is “Some people are making dinner plans at the lounge.”

My pain has aggravated and so restless that I’m tossing and turning. Whenever I see people around I try the frog thing as though someone reminded me.

Doc tells me, “I’m proud of you. You have been patient and bearing the pain without making too much noise. I got to examine you.”

Oh no, not again. The fist goes inside. Seconds later I’m lying in a pool of water. Now, I know what water breaking is all about.

My bed is cleaned up. Doc scolds CNG for being so careless all this while as the pain inducing tablet had not taken effect. She instructs her to induce me.

..to be contd…

A Labor Story : The story of how LG was born - Part 1

The content for this post has been swimming in my head for weeks now. Reminiscing those hours leading to the birth of the Lil General here in full detail will make for a grouse reading, so be forewarned and use your discretion.

Sunday, 17th December 2006, 10:30 a.m.: Everything is normal

A bright sunny Sunday morning. It’s beautiful outside and I tell myself not today. We are watching the NDTV Profit’s Real Estate show. Phone rings. Guests to be expected in a row that afternoon.

Sunday, 12:00 p.m. : Still doing great

First set of guests arrive. We entertain them for an hour. I get restless as lunch is delayed. I excuse myself and have lunch.

Sunday, 4:00 p.m. : Aaah, nothing yet!

Wake up after a nap. Guests came, left. Every guest has a opinion of when I’m going to deliver.
The next bunch of people are chatting away with mom while Pravin attempts to lighten up my mood by getting me to play a game of Chinese Checkers. Wondering if we are not old enough for that. Yes, we are but WHO CARES. Once a champ, I was quite rusty that afternoon and lost a couple of games before gaining ground. We followed it with a game of scrabble wherein Pravin CHEATED and WON.

Sunday, 6:00 p.m. : The day just gets busier by the hour! Ummm Chocolates…delicious

Continue reading A Labor Story


Guests leave. Attending to guests all through the day takes a toll on mom.
Intercom rings. Pravin’s delayed baggage arrives from Air France. We are busy unpacking stuff for the next hour and the house is strewn with all the goodies. While mom and Pravin are busy arranging stuff, I keep aside all the chocolates. When you are pregnant, all that you care about is FOOD. Mom’s famous words “Eat all you want now. For three months after delivery, there will be a lot of restrictions on your diet.” resonate in my ears. I take full advavtage of that and mouth a handful of chocolates. Sinful!

Sunday, 7:15 p.m. : Thighs ache. Finding it difficult to walk.

Exhausted. Too tired to move. The house is still in a mess. I announce my thighs are aching. Mom STOPS what she is doing. There’s a tension in her eyes worried if this might be that fateful NIGHT. Nights are scary and if you have a pregnant girl at home, it gets all the more creepy. Mom calls the cooking aunty asking her to come and sleep in for the night.

Mom tells me to hold in until tomorrow whe she will get back to the pink of her health ad all energetic and stuff. I assure her that I will pass on the message to Lil General. You see he is in cotrol of the situation.

And then she is quick to list a set of instructions to me : no using the Indian toilet, no standing / sitting for long etc etc.

Sunday, 8:15 p.m. : What a bummer! The pain is gone….

I feel better. The pain is gone. I call the cooking aunty and ask her not to come. Mom is not convinced. She feels I’m close, very close to the D-day. We chat with dad. I feel exhuasted and crash in the drawing room after dinner.

Sunday, 11:30 p.m.
Sleep evades me. I can’t find a comfortable position to lie down. I am mindlessly browsing orkut and chat with Vivek until midnight.

Monday, 12:30 a.m. : Undertaker Rules
I throw up. Meantime, Pravin is watching WWE and WCW on TV. I join him and seeing Undertaker smash people churns my stomach. I tell myself, “Labor pain can’t be worse than this. Here’s a guy with his arms beaten up by a steel chair and god knows how many fractures and blood oozing all over the ring.”

Monday, 1:30 a.m.
With 4 pillows propped up, I decide to rest my bones.

Monday, 7:30 a.m. : When you’re not working, there are no Monday Blues
Despite the lack of good sleep, I feel fresh and the spirit is high. 4 more days for Vivek to come. I tell Lil General, “Hold in until then. Pa will be here and then you can come out. There’s no hurry but better BEHAVE YOURSELF until then.”

Monday, 7:50 a.m.
Convincing Mom I need to go for a walk, I join Pravin and we walk to the hospital and get an appointment for that morning.

Monday, 10:30 a.m. : My weekly dream destination — At the hospital lounge
No pains. I’m all good. Mom and I leave for the hospital. Its a long wait as usual. India makes a LOT of babies. To be No. 2 populous nation means a lot of work and the nursing homes here are a evidence to that fact. If you are a gynaec and in India, you can never be without a job for a zillion years.

Monday, 11:15 a.m. : The fateful meeting with the Doc
We meet the doc. She examines and is happy with the baby. The doppler goes “Dhak. Dhak. Dhak.” Lg’s heartbeat is racing as usual.

Monday, 11:17 a.m. : FIST of Doc is bigger than the baby
I tell the Doc that movements have reduced considerably. In retrospect, I REGRET having said that. She gives me a second look and explains that she has to examine me INSIDE which in simple terms means she is going to get that fist of hers inside. A full grow fist inside a teeny weeny hole…the very thought scares me.

Monday, 11:19 a.m. : Being born a woman SUCKS sometimes
I scream in pain. I am requested to cooperate. I feel like passing out.

Monday, 11:20 a.m. : All set for the wrestling mania to start says the doc
She is done and tells me that the cervix has opened, dilated and ready to deliver by that night and asks me to get admitted within an hour. She keeps a pain inducing tablet inside that would soon trigger natural delivery pains. The pain is so intense that words don’t register in my head.

Monday, 11:25 a.m.
She explains all this to mom. Mom is still taking in all that the Doc just said. Its hard to believe when the moment is upon you. For months, for days we had been bracing ourselves for this day but still when it is finally there you don’t know how to react. Mom asked twice if it was going to be today. Doc says, “By this evening in all likelihood. Your admission card and a room will be ready. Get packed, have lunch and be back in an hour.”

Monday, 11:27 a.m. : Doc’s motivating talk
Before we leave the Doc’s cabin, I pose a naive question, “Will it pain?”. “Ofcourse, it will. I have the patience to go thr a normal delivery if you have the patience. Even Queen Victoria sustained this pain to deliver her kids. No pain, no children.” came the response. Very comforting words. We make an exit.

Monday, 11:40 a.m. : I call Vivek
I regain my composure and outside the hospital, I look at my watch, do a quick calculation of the flights available that afternoon for Vivek. Realising he doesn’t have much time, I call him from the auto and brief him. He starts off on his travel plans.

Monday, 11:45 a.m. : We are home.
Back home, we tell Pravin to get started. He takes out the magic paper that has all the phone numbers listed for this very emergency. Fingers tapping away quickly on the Landline, mobile phones. Close family called who need to get to the hospital to help out mom. From that day on until 15 days later, the phones do’t stop ringing.

Monday, 11:47 a.m. : We’re packed.
All the already packed bags are brought out. I have lunch, the fastest I have ever had. Pravin and mom are so tensed they refuse to eat. I’m all smiles now..no pain and I’m in high spirits. The day is here. The tummy load will be off but I’m a little sad that Vivek won’t be there anytime soon.
Mom is very tensed but doesn’t show it. Dad and Vivek have already called many times.

Monday, 11:55 a.m. : In Hindu Religion, there’s a ritual for every event in life.
The neighbour granny inserts neem leaves in my stomach praying for a safe and easy delivery. Jewels are not allowed in the hospital during operation so mom tries in vain to take the last 2 bangles off my head. It doesn’t come off and I bleed on the wrist…so we give up.

Mom had meticulously planned for this day. Like programmed robots we knew what to do and get started within 15 minutes. No..we hadn’t done dress rehearsals :)

We are waiting for the clock to strike 12…for 10:30 - 12:00 oon on Monday’s is considered inauspicious. Pain is slowly setting in.

Monday, 12:00 p.m. : The clock strikes twelve.
Mom, Pravin, our neighbour and I leave for the hospital.

Monday, 12:05 p.m. : The show begins…
The admission card is ready. It is a very busy day at the hospital as the Doc was away on a vacation for 5 days. The lounge is teeming with patients. As I wait a few minutes at the lounge before heading upstairs, people cast a quizzical look at my tummy and the discomfiture written all over my face.

Monday, 12:10 p.m.
I climb the stairs leading to the first floor where we are greeted by the Cynical Nurse. We are told the “Super Deluxe” room equipped with a visitors lounge, TV and a/c is not available. So we would have to settle in for the Deluxe version. Obviously, there is no choice and we take that with a request that we be shifted once the other one is ready.
The pain is increasing..what pain and where I’m not too sure. There is a pain and it is growing exponentially. The nurse - a composed one called Geetha is summoned. She examines and says it is not the REAL pain yet. Damn pain. Pain is a pain.

..to be contd..

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