Kids - our conversation fillers!

March 19, 2008 

Striking a conversation with a stranger is easy in two settings - over a cigarette (I’m told) and when you have a cute baby in tow. For introverts like me, children come in handy in a social setting. Before Lil’ General came along I often rehearsed the opening lines before starting a conversation with someone unknown just so it didn’t end even before it began. Interestingly, gaining confidence and making the first move to initiate a conversation with someone didn’t happen until I started going out with LG - call it the lack of social circle or the need to talk to someone other than the maid. How we all live in our own wrong pre-conceived notions. I was a difficult conversationalist with stay-at-home moms in my working days for one I thought they were versatile homemakers who did a good job of managing kids, great cooking for 20 people in half-a-day’s notice and keeping a happy home - all of which I was incapable of at that time and found it hard to hit a common ground. The fact is I didn’t try and refused to open up. And you just don’t make friends if you don’t open up. They all remain acquaintances.

One thing that comes naturally to Indians is the usage of kids as conversation fillers. See a lady with a baby in pram in the park and it’s funny how even a shy person sheds her inhibitions and goes on for 30 minutes about everything from Paediatrician to teething to conceiving accidentally to the right age gap between two kids. And believe me, before LG I dreaded at the thought of visiting a family with prodigy kids (just so you know for every family their kid is a prodigy) for it meant listening to everything from the famous “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!” rhyme to alternating 1,2,3. That was not all. In all likelihood, it was followed by the kid gyrating to the latest Bollywood item number. Imagine the practice and torture the child is subjected to and ofcourse the visitors - how many ever times you visit them in a week you will be subjected to this ordeal. That was when I swore not to use LG as my conversation filler and never to subject any visitor to LG stories and narrating his potty schedule or how many hours he slept during the day and what TV he watched or didn’t. Kids make any unpleasant situation easy. Imagine a social do you are forced to attend because of whatever obligations and every second person in the room is uncomfortable talking to the other because their spouses aren’t the best of buddies but you still ought to wear that diplomacy hat and make small talk - let’s just say kids have made that small talk all the more easy. Oh come on! - don’t read between the lines. We all encounter such occasions once in a while.

I was sure as adults we could manage to have other conversation topics than the time-tested one of our kids. If I can fill up half the posts on this blog related to children, do you think I would be faring any better in real life? I’ve failed miserably!

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