Motherhood and work ethics

April 30, 2008

Rewind to year 2002. A team mate - a very social and outgoing person - was pregnant with her first child. She made the announcement while going through what seemed like a tough first trimester. With an understanding manager who didn’t insist on her turning up for work at 9:00 a.m. for the status meetings, she reported late most days while coping with her morning sickness. And she got back home early evening after staying at work for 4-5 hours a good part of which was spent in munching healthy foods on the desk and sharing it with her colleagues. So long the work got done no one really bothered and the rest of us were happy to help her out just as we did with others going through rough patches. Wondering how unprofessional? Well, for one not being professional at all times get work done and two - we had built that bond after staying through thick and thin in the same project for over a year and half. All seemed well until things started turning sour. Soon, this pregnant lady was observed being taking advantage of her manager and nice colleagues. Reporting to work late even when well was now a habit and encouraging others (two other women in the team got pregnant eventually) to do so was rubbing off the wrong way demoralizing the remainder of the team who had to put in long hours to complete the work of these women. The initially nice to-be-mommydom was beginning to affect the productivity of the rest when in the most serious of moment would pop an apple out of a drawer or the to-be-mommies would insist on dragging the rest of us down to the canteen.

A few months later, pregnant lady- 1 delivered and went on maternity leave. She kept extending her leave until all the leave she was eligible for (with and without pay) was consumed. Her manager who had a great rapport with HR and other support functions took up her case and extended her leave so much so that she stayed on the rolls – on leave - for a year. Eventually she rubbed the wrong side of her accommodating manager and was asked to resign because she had no idea of when she would be able to return to work and retaining her on rolls did not appeal to anyone mostly for reasons of her being unprofessional. In the process she had set an example for other expecting ladies that they could go on a maternity leave and keep extending the leave until they found a favorable support system to take care of the baby; that an organization could be exploited by wearing the “famous” tag and being nice to HR. The problem started when HR played by the rules and did not agree to extending leave of many and some were given an ultimatum of show up after your leave exhausts or resign.

This is when the whole part-time saga started. I have some of my friends who have kept the 4 hours a day thing going for many years now. This sounds good to me. For one these women are not ambitious and aren’t too concerned about what kind of work they do, who they report to (many times people you trained eventually become your managers) or how much they earn. So why do it you might ask? In their own words, it gives them a 4-hour break from the insanity of it all - husband, baby, housekeeping —you know what I mean and a window to just be themselves and socialize with the people they’ve hung out and take the mind away from mundane tasks into something stimulating. These women work by the clock as they usually have to return home on time to receive their kids from play school or daycare. Which in turn means they are highly productive at work - no meaningless chit chat around the cooler and are extremely committed. The sad part is not many organizations are willing to try this option though they harp incessantly about the damn work-life balance, which is why they lose out on some good talent to motherhood and then go hunting for them through initiatives such as Tata Second Career.

Now back to work ethics. The ethical conundrum for most women starts somewhere after the first trimester of their usually first pregnancy. Physically drained, the hormones I believe make us incapable of thinking straight too. Easily vulnerable at that point, I made my decision to quit and stay home when I learned I was pregnant. I wanted to work full term and then quit, I was clear. But the travel to work and home was so taxing that I made up my mind to quit early - the beginning of third trimester. After several rounds of discussions from my manager who encouraged me to go on maternity leave and then come back and decide if I wanted to continue or not. Very reluctant, he agreed to relieve me and I negotiated for an early release. But he wanted me to stay on and said I could come in only the days I felt alright. So I worked from home when I was away but it didn’t seem ethical on my part to carry on without contributing totally for what I was being paid and I made a graceful exit.

The reason I started writing this post was because I was surprised to see so many comments on a blog I read regularly. The expectant mother is in a dilemma as to quit or not. Quitting or not is personal given the circumstances one and their family understands best. Again, what might seem ethical to me might not be to you. It’s being true to your conscience. Avail your maternity leave now, come back and decide doesn’t sit well with me if you are more than sure of what options you have. Once you go back after maternity leave and resign, either the organization is going to ask you to pay for the availed benefits (read :leave) at which point you are going to run to get it waived off etc etc. Raising a child and keeping your job is a difficult thing to do. Everyone understands. But one has to make a choice. If you think you can, you are right. The only point I’m trying to make is let’s not exploit our managers and companies emotionally in the name of pregnancy and motherhood while harping about feminism, new-age woman, man-woman are equal all the time.

Random Posts

Filed Under Career

Comments

5 Responses to “Motherhood and work ethics”

Dip on May 1st, 2008 4:15 pm

4-5 yrs back it was a different story. Mostly our managers were cooperative, companies accomodating to personal needs; employees committed, ethical, passionate (which unfortunately ppl like u and me still are and this emotion at workplace is a generation gap). Now its different give and take - company exploits u when it can and u do when u can..
In generally give and take balance out.
In 02 u felt emotinally abt such exceptions which were on take side, in 08 the exceptions are mostly on give side and I feel for them. Its chicken-egg whether ppl have changed because orgns have changed or vice versa….
Rhea on May 5th, 2008 8:57 am

Wish India soon has more favorable leave plans for pregnant ladies and new mothers, like Canada you can go for a paid ML for a year..much needed and fair. Looking forward for the 6th pay commission to implement the 6 month ML at least..
Lakshmi on May 6th, 2008 6:55 am

Dip: Well, maybe. But honestly, I think 4-5 years is not too long ago a time for everything to have changed rationally so much. There are still managers as the one I mentioned and still people like the lady I wrote about. True, from an organizational POV maybe what you say is true. It’s more rules and policies driven now and less people centric. Eventually had to be with the increasing headcount, biggies couldn’t play the people care with tens of thousands, that would have ensured a berth for HR in the psychiatric ward!

Rhea: I hope so. More than the pay commission and policies, it’s the mindset that has to change. It’s ingrained in us that so long people are not present, they will not be productive. There is very little difference between the manual labor (for daily wages that requires supervision) and the so-called intellectual labor.
Poppins on May 13th, 2008 9:23 am

Laksh, Thanks for the link first! Here’s where I agree with you, that I must not take advantage of my employer giving me the leave (paid at that) if I am sure of not coming back.

But here’s where I disagree: But no one is sure are they. Things can very well change at the end of the leave, maybe I’ll find a workable solution..? In anycase, I’ve told the manager that I will only return part time.

New age feminism does not even come into the picture IMHO. I know of plenty men who take offers up during their campus interviews, let the company spend a bomb on their training (non productive work as per the company) when all the while they have an admission to an MBA/MS lined up. Ask them why they worked for 3-4 months, they answer: Just to make free money!
Lakshmi on May 14th, 2008 9:28 am

Poppins’ Mom: I totally agree with you on the last point on men who take up offers during campus interviews. But you know what, they are freshers and women do the same too, don’t they My point was after having been in the industry for a while aren’t we expected to act mature and make wise decisions like the one you did. Anyways, I sincerely hope it all works out fine for you in the end.