No job? Isn’t that a RISK?

October 7, 2008

sale Last Saturday evening, Lil’ General and I were invited to a two-year-old’s birthday party. Not many people know us around here. After exchanging pleasantries, the conversation drifted to the “What does your husband do?” part.

“He is studying.” I replied. A pause. “He’s doing an MBA course actually.” I responded in an excited and matter-of-factly tone.

“Oh!” came the response. “Where?” came next almost spontaneously. Pat came the response from me out of experience in a nonchalant tone.

It’s tough to digest the information from a lady as old as I am with a toddler in tow whose husband is away studying. So I always leave the topic at that without encouraging any further discussion unless specifically prodded.

I am used to the drill now. So I gave it time before moving on to other topics knowing only too well that we’ll restart the discussion with renewed fervor in a while. After the usual small talk about how-much-does-yours-on-sleep, which-school-are-you-seeking-admission-in, came the “So how do did he get in? GMAT?” round of questions. Now again the kind of questions depend on the gender and interest. In this case, it was a male so I went about satisfying his curiosity in detail. The topic almost always ends in a gender-neutral question, “Has he quit his job or is he on a sabbatical? Isn’t that a big risk to quit and study?” How do you answer convincingly to such a question? That we each drew $100,000 salaries a year for a decade and stashed away our incomes in hedge funds earning handsome returns; that we were smart enough to withdrew before they went bust so we can afford to sit on our a**es now while my husband earns a fancy degree from an equally fancy college. I don’t have the wits or the presence of mind to answer so I usually resort to a light-hearted “Considering that we are an unemployed family, I bet it is!” I have received varied responses to this one ranging from, “It’s worth it to live off your resources while he studies” to “you can afford; you have large reserves.” I’m at a loss of words to carry on the discussion any further. No offense, though. We are all entitled to our own inferences.

So here it is to all of you who have been wondering but were too modest to prod further. Yes, V quit his full-time job to study. He is not on a sabbatical and I don’t work for a corporate either. I just do a bit of freelancing that pays me to meet any miscellaneous expenditure. Anything that trickles in is always good, no? That qualifies for us to be called an unemployed family, I guess. It was as simple as this when we decided to put V through school again: it was now or never! I say “we” because we are in this business of studying and unemployment together as a family. Anytime in the future wouldn’t have been any better than we are today. With Lil’ General not starting school yet and not old enough to comprehend a parent being away for longer periods of time, this was the best window we had. Ofcourse, 2-3 years earlier would have been ideal.

We’d always toyed with the idea of me going back to work full-time when V goes to school. But that was before LG had come along. With LG around, I didn’t entertain the thought even if it meant using all our savings accumulated over the years and losing a year’s income. It just didn’t feel right to leave LG in someone else’s care. I know there are working parents who manage the show with nannies taking care of their kids or by sending them to day care. We are what we are by the choices we make. If I had to choose a career over my son, then I wouldn’t have taken a break and would’ve started long back.

Coming back to the RISK part, yes it is. It means a lot more than what it appears superficially. It calls for a change in lifestyle - if only moderately, for we were never spendthrifts or pub-hoppers. It means making a budget and living within the allotted money, ordering pizzas once a month and not eating out on the pretext oh-i-don’t-feel-like-cooking-today, shopping for quality groceries economically at the beginning of the month when the best deals are available. It means not forgetting to pay your credit card bills on time thereby inviting a penalty. It means air travel is a luxury when one can do with a second-class a/c train travel. It means not wasting food, vegetables, and in general cooking with alert senses. It means learning how to drive because a driver is unaffordable. It means sitting up late at nights to complete writing assignments even on exhausted days because there’s no way one can turn down the only source of income. It also means not to be foolish with the stock market - not the time to take more RISKs. It also means no compromise for LG come what may. So yes, the kid does get his quota of new monthly toys and Gini and Jony dresses - just that now his mom keeps an eye on the sale going on! You may call it a frugal living. I’d call it cutting down on wasteful expenditure for once and living modestly.

And what do you know, it’s been a fun two months being accountable for everything you do. I know the shops that stock the best rice at the lowest prices or the stores that sell quality clothes and toys for LG. The only area where I’m extraordinarily lavish is with my phone bills. They do run into thousands thereby offsetting the savings on everything else. But that’s what keeps me going! Here’s to an opportunity for changing careers and living frugally!

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Comments

4 Responses to “No job? Isn’t that a RISK?”

Abhishek on October 7th, 2008 6:22 pm

L, this was very thought provoking. not the first part, but the last few lines … reminds me of days when our (mine at least) parents used to keep track of expenses (I’d say unnecessary ones) and still never letting us feel deprived of anything. I haven’t seen my parents spending on things which I do now - and I call it luxury … they still Qs me sometimes on my way of spending my savings… in fact since I came to Noida, I started keeping my books and little analysis has showed that how much of extra do I spend in general … where I ‘could’ have done with little intelligence! (or modesty) Honestly, there are plenty of little things that helps in improving our savings without changing the lifestyle drastically … and I am still learning
Lakshmi on October 8th, 2008 2:31 am

Thanks for the comment. Without doubt, most parents of our parents’ generation did go by the books. Now that I’ve started living like that, I see renewed fun in life. A dress for Dusshera or Diwali is more dearer now because one is not indulging in buying clothes just for the heck of it every weekend since there is a sale going on.
neeti on October 21st, 2008 11:01 am

Hi Lakshmi
I cant agree with you more when you say there are people who leave their kids with nannies/day cares. Its not about resource management, its about emotions/conscience. However hard i try, I fail to imagine myself leaving my infant with entities so impersonal as daycare/nanny.
Its such a pleasant experience reading your blog esp. when they echo exactly the same perception
Lakshmi on October 21st, 2008 5:14 pm

Hi Neeti,

Welcome here! Well, that’s “Parenting outsourced” for you. I have a post coming up soon on the topic. But you know what, it’s a topic that go on for hours and hours with no end in sight. The working couples will have a valid argument saying two incomes are necessary to meet their financial ends. Sustainability can’t be argued and it’s the easiest argument even if one is doing for career sake! So, yes it’s all about choices, as I always say and there’s no right or wrong. Because parenting can’t be forced, it has to be felt.